Gavin's Doing The Appalachian Trail With His Stepdad?

How did this happen? Gavin's hiking the entire Appalachian Trail with his stepdad. That's weird, right? Let's talk about it. I've said from the beginning that I'm an open book, but maybe I don't share alllll the details. 

Jeff and I have been married for 16 years and Gavin is 17 years old. So, the family dynamic that we have is all Gavin has ever known. However, I will say that at 3 years old he was questioning me as to why me and his daddy (Anthony) don't live in the same house. A 3-year-old cannot comprehend anything that really happened so I did what most good parents would do and ignored the question. Gavin does now know the story of me and his dad, again maybe not every single detail but the ones that matter. I'm not going into that story either because that's not important.

What is important is creating the family culture that Jeff hiking the Appalachian Trail with Gavin isn't something that's far-fetched to those around us. You may ask, do Julie and Anthony not ever fight? Is everything just peachy with them? And the answer is no. We have gone our rounds over the years. Getting divorced and having children is not easy. Then you add stepparents to the mix and that adds more stress and frustration sometimes. Even though Jeff and I were both previously married neither one of us are pro divorce. You don't go into a marriage with the thought of there's a way out. I don't believe that at all. 

I made a very deliberate decision when Gavin was little that I wasn't going to put my issues with his dad on Gavin. Gavin doesn't have the same issues. All Gavin knew was that he loves his mom and dad and then he loves his stepparents. So, when he was little and he had a sporting event, scout event, Christmas play at church, school function, etc....we all sat together, talked, brought snacks, played with siblings, all the things. That's how it was. We were a family unit for Gavin. You put your stuff going on inside your head aside for the time needed. You have to tell yourself, "It's not about me." 

So, this past weekend was no different. We came together as a large family unit for Gavin and for Jeff. There was never even a discussion or concern that some adult would "misbehave". We don't have those issues. Gavin doesn't deserve that. We all hung out and talked and that was it. 

Was Gavin's dad thrilled about him leaving for 5 months with Jeff? He was probably as excited as I was, but you'd have to ask him. You worry but you don't hold them back with your issues. Gavin fully knows that I'm worried about him, but he also knows that I'm worried about him if he is just down the road from me at work. I'm worried if he's riding his dirt bike. I'm worried regardless. 

I just want to encourage you that if you're in a situation like us to try your best to keep your child at the center of your attention and focus. Not the situation that got you to the point of having a split-up family. Again, we're not perfect and we've made mistakes, but I just hope when Gavin looks back on his life he sees that as his parents, we tried.