Being The One "Left Behind"

I've read a lot of Appalachian Trail books. They are all from the perspective of the hiker which was wonderful for me to learn everything that they encountered. It truly helped me to be more "OK" with Jeff and Gavin leaving for the trail. I just didn't hear anything about the person/people that are left behind. The people "Holding down the fort" at home. I didn't really think about that either. I just kept trying to get them prepared to leave. I consumed my time with thinking about what supplies they still needed or how we were going to pay for everything.

Then they left.

At first, I was visiting every weekend and my time at home was so busy I couldn't even get a minute to think about being alone. Then, slowly, I was having a little more "free time" and more dinners alone. Garrett has started his new job in Charlotte and has his own little life. He comes over and stays sometimes too. He helps with the yardwork, thankfully. But even still, I didn't want to put the pressure on him that he HAD to come stay with me because I couldn't be alone. 

It's not that I can't. It's just a different life than what I've been used to, well, since Gavin was born. He's always been my little buddy. My sidekick. Even though the last year or so has changed some, he would always be at home every night (except when he spent time at his dad's). Jeff would come home every day after work. He'd be home most days by 6pm and "take over" with Braelyn playing with him. We'd all eat dinner together and then just hang out or do whatever activity needed to be done that evening. 

Now that doesn't happen. 

Yes, I talk to Jeff and Gavin frequently. They send me the pictures and videos. They keep me updated to what's going on in their world and I tell them what's going on in mine. But we're living in two different worlds and that can be hard. 

So, if you're reading this and you're the one left behind while your family does whatever adventure they may be doing just know - I understand. You're glad they are out there living their life but that doesn't make you miss them any less. Nothing fills the space in your home like they do.